being the one who loves someone but that someone doesnt return back the feelings shucks big time. i mean, i can imagine the pain that u're going thru. eventho im not experiencing it now. i still feel sad for them as well. not proud nor anything, just wished for the better for all of those out there who's going thru this particular phase. when u know of someone's problems and u wanted to help but u couldnt really give any, really triple quadriple make urself feel useless know. but at least i hope it does give the person a sense of release after telling it to someone. probably not the best advise given but give it a try. just one try, that's all it takes. try to solve it, dont keep avoiding it. avoiding it= more heart pain. really. slowly let it go. give it time. u'll get thru day by day. even if u're not the type u tries, then take a risk. it doesnt hurt to do it for the first time. jiayou. have more faith in urself. :)
{{ 1:29 AM -
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matter's worse. just great, really.
so much for happy ending. amek kau nad, happy ending kebabai lu!
thought that it could be better. tapii. macam taik, know.
next time, anything happen, i'm gonna be the one who shuts myself in the corner.
i'm the peacemaker now, but i dont wanna be it anymore. it just sucks.
perkare yang tk buat saket ati, do so to urself. nk step pandai la lagi.
serious shit, i shouldnt bother next time. i know it'll be hard, but im willing to try. to avoid getting myself involved in things. and mostly avoid myself getting stuck in the middle with noone else with me. i wanna be the one who gets off that fence and just walk away freely. maybe i should. damn it. da amek my dinner then skrg tkd mood nk mkn. pdhal tadi, wow. laparr. fuck the feeling of being so shitty. just fuck it. im disappointed, really. thanks k. u've made my day.
{{ 11:10 PM -
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it's not that i'm ashamed of you guys. guessed i was just ashamed of myself. i keep thinking why am i not like krg? not afraid to voice out anything like just now. not afraid to fight back cause u're right. somehow, it affected me. in a way or another. eventho mmg tkd link langsung between tadi pny incident and this topic at hand. sigh. truthfully kan, i've been jealous of you. cause u seem to get more attention than me from them or anybody else. probably that's the reason why i worked hard. but sometimes, tkd effect pon. those 'left out' words always chases me around with a knife at hand. always gets to me eventho i shouldnt be feeling it at all. i feel like sometimes maybe i'm not good enough for you guys. i'm sorry i'm not what you wanted me to be. but i turned out being a timid person and bottling it up every single time till im left alone and get to let it out by doing something. i love you guys alot okayy. didnt meant what i said just now. *loves*
{{ 10:31 PM -
& can't stop, won't stop
`when i close my eyes`few words to summarise my evening. = awesome evening/night with boyf! ;)
it was indeed a good one. no arguments nor lil tantrums(standard) hee.
i loikkeeee. no wrong. should be i love just now. *grins widely*
but before that, had macro meeting :) lucky all were in a great mood. pheww. fun. :D
we did all the stuffs. yay. another load off my shoulder. well not yet la. but soon.
ali baba= genie *inside joke* :D
so as per usual, boyf & me didnt have a destination in mind. indecisive people lah we both.
so we did an unusual thing; look at the mrt stops and randomly decide then and there.
ended up, either orchard or cityhall.
due to some stuffs, cityhall was it.
walked to suntec, yami yogurt. :)
marina square; arcade. played the 'hit the machine buttons like a retard' game. haha!
now i have a tiny blueblack near my hand. hoho. dont care. cause it was fun. ;)
then ate and off to esplanade rooftop. (someone's first time there) :D
watched the scenery and talked. plus watched a free 'proposal' show. cute sia they all.
till can lose the ring. *aww pity* but lucky them.
romantic kan. but i dont needa ask for more. get what i mean.
i'm glad and thankful for what i have now. rather than be greedy and then lose it all kn.
i wish it was like this everyday. then all happy moments.
kay lahh, gonna go off and berjiwang with bsb songs. hahah! *recalls memories*
and chat with ali babaa. ;)
to those who recently got their hearts broken, cheer up okayy.
like someone said, u need rain and also the sun to see a rainbow. it's the same.
u gotta go thru heartbreaks to find the right one.
i know its hard, i've been there & done that. but i know u'll make it thru.
slowly, pelan2 kayuh. dont rush into forgetting that person.(who's the basket person)
rant your feelings to someone, dont bottle it up like me. lols. cause it'll hurt more.
if it helps, rawr it to that person's face. make basket person feel guilty. or if you're the slutty kind then make the basket person regret that he shouldnt have let you go and make him want you. after, you can do back the things that he did to you. like karma. oops, that's bad. forget i said that. lols
jiayou kayy. i know you can. cause i have faith in everyone even if they themselves look down on their own selves. not everyone's perfect. correction,
nobody's perfect. you just gotta be patient and then you will find the people/guy/girl who is/are willing to accept your imperfections as one of your good points. trust me.
{{ 12:55 AM -
& can't stop, won't stop
`i'll never let another teardrop fall`gahhh, sengau la pulak skrg. :(
flu alll the wayy, mane gerek seh gini. tsk.
flu bug's passed around in class. hoho.
even before marketing presentation, also have the time to sneeze3.
lerrrr. baby elephant.
so yeah. bsa then presentation and make up session. all didnt ringan2kn tangan to apply make up.
standard, lazy + tired. but had one with boyf.
kesian, jadi owl sejap. hahaha.
ice cream and peanut butter waffles are loved.
i want somemore! pretty please. :)
*loves*
and to that dearest friend of mine, please please cheer up.
u've gotta lock that space where the shadows come up into ur mind.
u know we're here right, even if we have others to support us from behind.
we'll be ur support. u've gotta have faith alright.
and u didnt lose me. at most if u did ignored me for the whole day, i would do the same.
but that didnt count as almost lose. chill kayy. :)
ohh and someone, *hints to xf* had a happy moment just now. ahha. super funny but cute la.
saw her smileyy then she went omg omg! i was about to laugh my ass off cause her voice was loud. confirm chop can hear one. then finally finaally she got to know his name.
happy girl indeed till she had some terlajak moments due to being so happy.
HOHO.
and hudz, she asked why i was sad. lols, i wasnt cause it was the flu that made my eyes teary and droopy. but thanks babe. today wear like professional loh. HEHE. :)
kay im done. flu's been acting up crazily. irritz.
{{ 10:10 PM -
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`are you gonna let me in`finally, macdee just arrived. wooohooo.
thinking bout it makes me hungry like nuts.
todayy was ssooooo project dayy.
all last min assignments. lucky managed to get thru it and now i'm relaxing.
been listening to backstreet boys songs.
veryyy soothing, really. bring back memories to zaman kentalan too
happily never after= best.
:)
it's been only two days not meeting boyf.
it feels weird. cause used to him fetching me/ lepak-ing with him.
i wont deny the fact that i miss him la. that's standard.
but add in that he's sick. that + miss = worried.
gahhh. so many days already. cm btol2 serious gtk.
mcm mane nie. da la die muntah all food out. lagi teruk. :(
sigh. hope pray hard he'll get better sooon, pretty sooonnnn.
*loves*
i miss ryan. and amir, and idzul and ana.
bile blh pergi melacca. after exams, confirm. hoping**
kay off to sleeping cause boyf's waiting. hug naddy for extra boost of strength! :) hee.
{{ 11:45 PM -
& can't stop, won't stop
`that's alright because i love the way it hurts.gahhh. i forgot what i wanted to post after cracking my head about what to write on that octopus article. grrrr.
ohh wells, todayyy was oh so not the day that went according to plan.
i was supposed to do tutorials. skali last minute, have to do research on marketing.
ya alerrr. stress dibuatnye. naseb tk kene reject.
at least it didnt affect my meeting with boyf sentelur. (hahah)
understanding btol, accompany me study. *correction, do homework* ;)
oh ya not forgetting yesterday where we ate like almost 3 meals in school. and then for me, 1 meal at home cause my tummy growled. alaaahhh, makin gemookkkk la nieee. :(
needa go on diet! naseb fasting month coming, yay hudz and me can finally cut down on food.
heheh. :)
kay la, better go. boyf waiting for me. :)
tido cepat tau HUDZ, LINDO & XF! :D
those words were meant from me to you. not my past. just you.
{{ 12:22 AM -
& can't stop, won't stop
`growing up wont bring us down`i'm supposed to be doing stats tutorial now but grrr. lazyy mode on the go.
so probably do tmr. malas malas malas, hey!
anyway, i just have the urge to go everywhere.
walk everywhere, slacking and such.
its so boring doing projectts and projects and projects only.
sleeping time pon disrupted.
ape daaa.
i wanna be able to fly kite at marina,
watch the sunset/sunrise.
count stars/star gazing.
walk along beaches.
watch movies, without having to worry about anything else.
wow, that would have to wait till hols. :)
ohhh yaa. not forgetting, stats presentation was a *pheww* success.
even when i had the shaky feeling before.
hehee. im proud of myself. :)
kay la. doneeee.
byeeeeee chinonehhs.
`i love the way he holds my hand;firm but at the same time gentle.the way he says ily sincerely. the way his eyes lit up when he smiles.the way he does things that comfort me in a way or another.even when he's jealous(cause that shows he care).even when we had little arguments.but last and most importantly, i love you for you. :))) *loves*
{{ 11:11 PM -
& can't stop, won't stop
`the great divide.`sis intro me to a song which totally stucked into my head yest.
but it really describe you both. :)
send it to him.
anyway, i've been stressing over the past week. idk why.
probably cause of the ton loads of projects.
but luckily, i've done all the hwks.
i should be feeling good and relaxing now.
however, i feel weird la cause i dont do anything.
lerrr, ade hwk, susah. tkde hwk pon susah.
apeee je nadziii.
again, just finished webcamming with him.
hahaa, suke nah buat lawak tau that boy.
but the drawing parts were the best. haha. up to our imagination.
:)]}
hopefully he plays for tmr's match. :)
& thanks you guys for accompanying me watch:)
LOVES.
and hudzz, yay. for the confession and woohoo for gaining your happiness back.
like we said, we're still here.
lastly, i love annoying sis, lind, hudz, xf and him with the despicable me thingy.
hahahahh!
:D
{{ 11:13 PM -
& can't stop, won't stop
